I think it’s time to get personal.

Like…nitty gritty personal, say what’s on my mind, start some thought provoking conversations, unload all that I carry in my heart. I’ve stayed away from personal posts for awhile. Life has been busy. It’s the tail end of busy season and I’ve been caught up in overworked, overstressed, at times depressed, at times elated, soul searching, longing, hoping, dreaming, fucking up, holding on, reaching out, withdrawing.

But…I keep coming back to wanting to share more of myself. I keep coming back to authenticity. I keep coming back to the fact that I am more than pretty pictures, and beautiful details, and flawless skin, and over the top venues with flowers that pour out of vases and spill onto tables. So I’m challenging myself to make one personal post a week. Some may be funny. Some sad. Some brutal honesty. Some vulnerable. Some thought provoking. Some self deprecating. Some controversial. But all….me.

And…Since there’s no time like the present…let me start now:

MAGIC

I shared this quote this afternoon….

“Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic” –Frida Kahlo

And it really got me to thinking. It got me thinking about exactly what it is that we want from our lovers, from our partners. What is it that we’re looking for? What are we really, at the core, looking for?

I think we all want to be seen. Truly seen. Not just looked at like “damn you’re hot” or “babe you have a great ass”. Not even “I love your smile” or a simple “I love you.” Nope. Nothing that simple.

What we want is to be SEEN. We want someone who sees our darkness and our light. Someone who can revel in our light and simultaneously touch our darkness without flinching. Someone who sees it all as the magic of us. Someone who looks at us like we are equal parts muse, soul mate, educator, savior, lover.

You know the look I’m talking about. You know the type of “being seen” that I’m describing. (And if you don’t…oh how I hope that someday you do!) It’s not just love.

It’s beyond physical attraction. It doesn’t make sense on paper. It’s the stuff that is equal parts indescribable and irrational. It’s like being home, feeling found. It’s complete acceptance. It’s bewitching and empowering. It calms you and makes your heart race at the same time. It’s in the eyes. It’s in the touch. It’s soft and tender sometimes and passionate and dissolving at other times.

It’s being seen…and we all long for that. We all want to be the magic in someone’s eyes, in someone’s smile.